Adventures in Camping
by Red Witch
Summary: Companion to 'Adventures in Babysitting'. What happens to the rest of the X-Men as they go camping? They run into the Misfits of course, not to mention other crazy characters! Completed fic!
1. Getting Away From Nothing

**A bear ate my disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters. Well here's the other story that goes parallel to my fic 'Adventures in Babysitting'. What fun will I have with the X-Men in the woods along with my merry band of Misfits? Wait and see!**

**Adventures in Camping**

**Chapter 1: Getting Away From Nothing**

"I hate camping," Rogue muttered.

"So do I," Tabitha told her as they rode in the X-Van. "But I hate hanging around all weekend with those insane triplets even more."

"Not to mention those screaming babies," Bobby told her. "And that insane parrot." 

"You have a point," Rogue sighed. "And maybe with Scott and Jean not hanging around being uptight about every little thing this trip won't be so bad."

"Yeah right," Logan grunted as he drove. 

They finally made their way to the state park and found their way to the campsite area. It was off-season so there was only one other group of campers in the designated camping section of the woods. Unfortunately they were some very familiar faces. 

"Well lookie who finally showed up," Todd snickered as the lay back on a log.

"Hi Kitty!" Lance waved.

"Oh no…" Peter groaned.

"I don't believe this…" Kurt moaned. 

"Hidey-Ho Neighbor!" Pietro waved. 

"And let the festivities begin," Althea snickered to Wanda and Xi. 

"What are you doing here?" Rogue asked.

"We're camping!" Fred waved. "Hi!" 

"Well it looks like the gang's all here," Roadblock waved. With him were some of the Misfit adult handlers, Low Light and Cover Girl. Also with them were some other Joes: Jinx, Alpine, Bazooka and Footloose. 

"Okay who told them we were gonna be camping here?" Kurt asked. 

Everyone glared at Kitty. "Don't look at me!" She defended. "I didn't say anything! Besides, how could the Misfits possibly find out where we were going when we didn't even know?" 

"Uh…actually Half-Pint I'm afraid I may have to take the blame on this one," Logan gulped, scratching the back of his head. 

"Why would you of all people…?" Bobby began. Then he saw Jinx. "Oh I get it!" 

"Ha, ha Icicle. Very funny. Where's Spirit and the Blind Master?" Logan looked around.

"Oh they said they had some kind of ninja stuff to do," Footloose told him. "So we thought that we'd tag along and you know, like get back to nature and all that cool stuff!" 

"It was either this or a two months worth of KP duty," Alpine said. "Don't ask!" 

"So now we're camping with the Misfits," Kurt muttered. "Why did you guys show up?"

"It's their mission in life to drive the X-Men insane," Remy grumbled. "Of course they'd show up." 

"Speaking of insane," Ororo sighed as Shipwreck bounded up to her "I see you also didn't pass up this opportunity to annoy me." 

"Yeah thanks to Scott and Jean I was able to come along!" Shipwreck grinned. "Isn't that great?"

"I'm jumping with joy," Ororo groaned. 

"Look at the bright side," Alpine told her. "At least now you have a few more adults to help you with the kids." Then he looked over. "Bazooka! Stop eating the marshmallows!"

"But I'm hungry," Bazooka said with his mouth full. 

"If you're so hungry why don't you eat a knuckle sandwich!" Alpine made a fist. "Now spit that out!" 

"No! You can't make me!" Bazooka grabbed the marshmallows and ran off with them.

"COME BACK HERE BUBBLE BRAIN!" Alpine shouted as he ran after him. 

"Yeah like how are we gonna make smores if you eat all the marshmallows dude!" Footloose shouted as he ran after them. 

"Well if he's eating the marshmallows I've got dibs on the chocolate," Shipwreck started to munch on them.

"Shipwreck!" Low Light growled.

"What?" Shipwreck put on an innocent face. "I'm hungry too!" 

"You are insane in the membrane!" Roadblock shouted. "And now you are going to feel pain!" Both Roadblock and Low Light started to chase after Shipwreck. 

Meanwhile the other guys ran through one of the tents. "Hey they're wrecking our tent!" Jinx shouted. 

"Get 'em!" Cover Girl shouted as they ran after the guys. 

"I love GI Joe, don't you?" Pietro cackled as the kids watched the Joes go at it. 

"Let me put it to you this way," Kurt sighed. "They make me feel normal!" 

"So the Joe adults are here as well huh?" Logan sighed. 

"For some reason that doesn't exactly comfort me," Ororo muttered. 

**So what will happen next? I don't have a clue! So send in your suggestions and wait and see! **


	2. Ah, Wilderness!

**I love you guys! Well here are some of your suggestions! Don't worry some suggestions will be featured in a later chapter if not in this one. And now…**

**Ah Wilderness!**

"All right boys the first thing we need to do is to get the tents all set up!" Shipwreck clapped his hands. "Since Roadblock, Alpine and Footloose are fishing, and Low Light and Bazooka are getting firewood. That means Wolverine and Jinx are…"

"Studying the birds and the bees," Pietro snickered. 

"It's up to us to get the campsite all set up," Shipwreck continued without a beat. "Are you with me men?" 

"You got it!" Todd nodded. "Come on guys." 

"Yeah we'll help," Rogue said. 

"No you won't! You ladies just stay back! This is man stuff!" Shipwreck told them.

"Yeah, man stuff!" Todd repeated, puffing out his chest. 

"Just let the men handle this ladies," Remy told them.

"And just exactly where are you gonna find some men to handle this?" Rogue smirked.

"Remy is a man!" Remy frowned. "And it's the man's job to protect the womenfolk."

"From what?" Tabitha asked. "A rabid squirrel?" 

"Give me a break!" Amara groaned.

"We should," Wanda said. "Break their arms that is."

"Now girls let's let the boys do what they want," Cover Girl sat back.

"Right, this ought to be good for a laugh," Althea snickered. 

"Hey we can handle this!" Ray puffed up. Then he noticed something. "AGGGH! Spider! There's a spider on my arm! Get it off me! Get it off!" He jumped around.

"Don't let it get on me!" Roberto yelled jumping away from him. 

"I got it!" Todd hopped over. "Hold still."

"Get it off!" Ray kept jumping around. "Get it off!" 

"I will if you'd quit moving around yo!" Todd snapped as he tried to follow him. 

"Agghh! Now you got it on me!" Pietro yelled. "GETITOFF! GETITOFF!" 

"Quickie will you stand still already!" Todd shouted. Then he shot out his tongue.

"AGGHH! YOU SLIMED ME!" Remy shouted. 

"I did not!" Todd snapped. "I only dabbed you a little! It's Quickie's fault he can't stand still!" 

"It is not! Now get this thing off me!" Pietro looked around. "Oh wait, it's off me now. Where did it go?"

"There!" Ray pointed to the ground. "Kill it!" He sent a volt of electricity at it. Of course several surrounding leaves and plants caught on fire. 

"Way to go genius!" Lance snapped. He used his powers to have a small section of earth rise up and smother out the fire. However the wave of dirt traveled further than he intended and knocked over several trees.

"Look who's talking!" Peter snapped. 

"Shut up!" Lance snapped. "I didn't see you do anything!"

"Well he can do something now," Todd pointed. "That spider's still alive! Ray missed." 

"What!" Ray yelled. 

"Hey I got it!" Todd said sticking out his tongue. He narrowly got it stomped on by Peter's foot. "Hey watch it you big ape! You nearly stepped on my tongue!" 

"And neither of you still got the spider!" Jamie groaned. "Never mind it's gone into the bushes." 

Shipwreck slapped his hand on his face as the girls laughed. "Why me?" 

"Oh yeah you guys are real wilderness men," Althea laughed.

"You're right," Rogue grinned. "This is good for a laugh!" 

"Told you we'd have a good show!" Cover Girl giggled. 

"Ha ha!" Shipwreck pouted. "Very funny. Come on men let's set up the tents!" 

"Maybe we should do our own tents?" Wanda asked.

"Well let's see how the geniuses here do with theirs," Althea pointed. 

"Look we know what we're doing okay?" Shipwreck snapped. He picked up a pole. "Now where the hell does this rod go?" 

"I could think of a few places it could go," Ororo snickered in Cover Girl's ear. 

"I heard that!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"Boy Berzerker you scream like a girl! Ha! Ha! AGGGH! A SKUNK!" Roberto screamed.

"It's just a pile of leaves you weenie," Jamie rolled his eyes. 

"Now who screams like a girl?" Ray sneered. 

"Shut up!" Roberto growled. 

"I'll be right back," Bobby grumbled as he went into the bushes. Meanwhile the boys were trying to set up their tents. 

"I could have sworn this pole went here," Forge grumbled as the tent he and Kurt were working on fell down for the third time. 

"Figures, the guy who's a mechanical genius can't figure out how to make a simple tent," Kurt groaned. 

"Oh like you're such a help?" Forge shot back. 

"Are you sure it's supposed to look like this?" Xi asked.

"Of course not Xi!" Forge snapped. "But maybe if somebody was more helpful…"

"What do you mean by that crack?" Kurt asked.

"What do you think it means?" Forge snapped. 

"Forge calm down," Xi said. "It's not Kurt's fault you don't know how to put up a tent."

"WHAT?" Forge snapped. 

"Where the heck is slot B?" Shipwreck scratched his head. "Does anyone have a clue where slot B is?"

"Forget slot B I can't find section 9," Ray said.

"That's section 6," Sam told him. "You have it upside down you moron!" 

"It's section 9!" Ray snapped.

"Six!" Sam said.

"Nine!" 

"Six!" 

"Nine!" 

"Six!" 

"Actually that looks more like a three to me," Jamie looked at the paper.

"Who asked you?" Ray and Sam shouted. 

"You're doing it wrong!" Lance snapped at Peter as they put up their tent. 

"Look Alvers I have gone camping before," Peter snapped. "I know how to put up a tent all right?" He got the tent up and grinned at Lance.

Ten seconds later the tent collapsed. "Riiiiiight," Lance looked at him sarcastically. 

"OW! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Bobby screamed. "IT HURTS!" 

"I'll get it!" Cover Girl ran over with Kitty following. 

"Oh great now what's going on?" Shipwreck groaned.

"Move your leg!" Peter snapped at Lance. "It's in the way!"

"No you move your leg!" Lance snapped back. 

"Besides the obvious," Shipwreck groaned. 

Kitty came back giggling. "So what happened?" Althea asked her. 

"Let's just say that Bobby used the wrong leaves for toilet paper," Kitty snickered. 

"He didn't!" Wanda gasped.

"He did," Kitty nodded. 

"Didn't we go through this with Evan?" Roberto groaned. 

"Yeah but even Evan wasn't stupid enough to use poison ivy for toilet paper," Pietro snickered. 

"Come on ladies," Ororo finally got up from the ground. "We'd better build our own shelter if we want to have any protection at all."

"Yeah as entertaining as all this is we'd really better get to work," Wanda snickered. "Have fun boys." The girls went to the other side of the campsite. 

"Don't worry!" Shipwreck snapped. "We'll get this done in no time!" 

Then the sound of cloth being torn interrupted him. "You ruined the tent!" Lance snapped.

"Me?" Peter snapped. "You're the one who ripped it!"

"I did not!" Lance shouted. "You were the one pulling it in the wrong direction!"

"I was not! You were the one pulling it in the wrong direction!"

"No you were!" 

"You were!"

"You were!" 

Shipwreck rolled his eyes as both boys tackled each other and started fighting. "Or maybe not." 

************************************************************************

A few hours and several more fights later…

"Look Shipwreck I'll make the bear noises but I won't try to dress up like a bear!" Fred told him. 

"Fine," Shipwreck groaned. "You win."

"Oh this is the dumbest plan you ever had," Lance groaned. 

"Shut up!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"What are you planning now?" Todd asked as he hopped over. 

"You gotta hear this Toad," Lance pointed his thumb at Shipwreck. "He's come up with the stupidest plan ever to get the girls to like him."

"It is not stupid!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"What is it?" Todd asked.

"Shipwreck wants the Blob to go over to the girl's side of the camp and make bear noises," Lance explained. "This will get the girls into a panic…supposedly and then Shipwreck will rush in to save the day."

"Wait a minute," Todd scratched his head. "Lemme get this straight…you're trying to scare Storm and Cover Girl? Are you out of your mind? These women have tackled some of the toughest customers in the world and you think a little thing like a bear is gonna scare 'em?"

"I told you it was a dumb plan!" Lance remarked.

"It is not!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"Actually Shipwreck it is pretty dumb," Fred scratched his head. "I mean even I can figure that out and I'm not exactly the best at coming up with plans." 

"No Fred, really?" Lance asked sarcastically. "Still you have a point. Even you could come up with a better plan than this!" 

"I told you!" Fred said. 

"Look will you just do it, okay?" Shipwreck groaned. 

"Give me one good reason why I should?" Fred asked.

"Because it's an order," Shipwreck told him.

"Yeah right," Fred waved.

"Okay how about if I give you fifty bucks?" Shipwreck asked.

"Give me a few minutes," Fred nodded. "I need to get into character." He walked away. 

"Oh brother," Lance groaned. "I can't watch this." 

"Me neither," Todd said. The two of them went back to camp. "Well at least we got the tents up. Finally." 

"Most of them anyway," Lance pointed to a ripped tent. "So who's going to bunk with who?" 

"Well the adults are going to share these three," Shipwreck pointed. "Now as for the rest of you guys…Bobby you are gonna share with Ray and Roberto."

"I don't want to be with them!" Bobby stood uncomfortably. "They're gonna be fighting all night! With my luck they'll set the tent on fire!"

"Oh yeah like we want to be with a guy covered in poison ivy!" Ray told him.

"Can't I stay with someone else?" Bobby asked. "I don't want to be burned to a crisp in my sleep!" 

"And we don't want to be infected!" Roberto snapped.

"Look Iceman if you stay with them you can just freeze the fire and if you keep your shorts on you won't infect the others!" Shipwreck snapped. "Don't come crying to me! If certain people hadn't destroyed a few tents we would have had a lot more room."

Everyone glared at Lance and Peter. "What?" Peter asked.

"I told you it wasn't my fault!" Lance snapped. "Those tents were obviously defective!"

"It's not the tents that are defective," Jamie snapped.

"Okay, okay…" Shipwreck groaned. "Pipe down. Now, for tent #2 how about Remy, Pietro and Fred…"

"Hold on!" Remy snapped. "I ain't sharing a tent with those two!"

"Yeah the Blob alone is big enough for his own tent!" Pietro remarked. "Where is he anyway?"

"He's around here someplace," Shipwreck waved. "Go find him will ya?" Pietro took off.

"Well whatever you do Shipwreck please for the love of Mike don't stick Lance and Peter together!" Kurt said.

"If you do nobody'll get any sleep!" Todd piped up. 

"Yeah the last thing I wanna hear is another 'I Love Kitty the Most Argument'," Forge said.

"Fine," Shipwreck sighed. "How about this? These are the two largest tents so Todd, Lance, Kurt and Jamie in this one and Peter, Sam, Forge and Xi in the other one?" 

"You're sticking me with the Toad?" Kurt groaned.

"Oh yeah like I'm looking forward to being covered in fur," Todd folded his arms. 

"Look nobody's gonna be happy no matter where they're put so why don't you…" He was interrupted by some loud growling noises. "Oh for the love of Davy Jones' Locker what now?" 

"BEAR!" Pietro ran by. "BEAR!" 

"Pietro knock it off its only Freddy!" Lance groaned. 

"What?" Remy blinked.

"Uh yeah my fault," Shipwreck went over to the bush where the noises were coming from. "Hey Blob you can knock it off now! Wait until we get to the girl's side huh?" 

"Knock off what, Shipwreck?" Fred appeared eating some honey from a jar. "I haven't started yet. I figured a good snack would get me in the mood. Honey anyone?" 

"Blob?" Shipwreck looked at him. "But if you're there then who's…?" His eyes widened when a real bear poked his nose out of the bushes. "Eep…" 

************************************************************************

"I can't believe we only caught three fish," Alpine groaned. "How are we gonna feed all these kids?"

"Maybe we can make a stew?" Bazooka suggested.

"Don't you worry," Roadblock waved. "I packed plenty of extra provisions so we'll have plenty to eat!" 

"Hey look!" Low Light pointed as they entered the girls' side. Not only were the tents made up but also there was a large wooden shelter and a primitive outhouse that was cheerfully decorated with leaves. 

"Hey guys!" Wanda waved. She and Rogue were putting the finishing touches on a lookout post. "What do you think?" 

"Wow you girls really did a great job," Roadblock nodded. "I'm impressed." 

"Yeah if you ladies did this well I can't wait to see how the guy's section of the camp is doing," Low Light said. 

"Neither can we," Althea grinned. 

"Five will get you ten that they don't even have half their tents up," Tabitha remarked.

"Now girls give the boys some credit," Ororo said. 

"Yeah but Shipwreck is with them," Wanda said.

"She does have a point," Cover Girl sighed. 

"I'm sure they're fine," Ororo said. Then she heard a loud scream. "What was that?" 

They all ran to the campsite where many of the boys were clinging to the trees. "HELP!" Shipwreck shouted. He was covered in something sticky. "BLOB WHY THE HELL DID YOU DROP THE HONEY JAR ALL OVER ME?"

"Sorry," Fred gulped as he hid behind a large tree. He couldn't climb for obvious reasons. 

"Oh dear…" Ororo put her head in her hands. 

"How do you guys do this?" Cover Girl asked.

"It's not easy," Todd grumbled. 

"Some protectors," Rogue groaned. "Should we go save their butts? Again?"

"Yeah might as well," Tabitha sighed. "But how do we fend off a bear?"

"Just leave it to us," Cover Girl said. "Come on Althea, let's do it." 

"Yeah it's not like this hasn't happened to my pop before," Althea told them. "You'd be amazed how often this has happened!" 

**Up next: Some sort of scary tales around the campfire sing alongs nobody wants to sing, and Althea learns a shocking secret about Todd and Wanda. Well maybe it's not that big a secret…**

Keep those ideas and suggestions coming people! 


	3. Campfire Capers and Confessions

**Okay, some people are confused. In this universe pretty much a lot of the same things have happened as in the regular cartoon continuity, except for the fact that no one recognized our mutants. Its pretty much the same theory as the fact that no one recognizes Clark Kent as Superman when he puts his glasses on. **

Todd: In other words a lot of the same stuff has happened before Ronin Toad huh? That's taking the easy way out!

**Hey this is fanfiction, not rocket science folks. Just read and enjoy! **

**Campfire Capers and Confessions**

_"Someone's singing Lord, Kumbya!" _Footloose sang happily as the X-Men, Misfits and Joes sat around the campfire. He strummed a guitar and sang at the top of his lungs. "_Someone's singing Lord, Kumbya! Someone's singing Lord, Kumbya! Oh Lord Kumbyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" _

"Who made you the Camp Counselor in charge of torturing us?" Shipwreck snarled. 

Footloose ignored him and kept singing, even though he wasn't doing a very good job of it. _"Someone's being happy Lord…" _

"Well whoever he is, it's definitely not us," Pietro had his fingers in his ears as Footloose sang. 

"God I miss TV," Tabitha moaned. 

"Where the hell are Logan and Jinx?" Ororo grumbled under her breath. 

"Yeah they should be here to suffer with the rest of us as well!" Low Light agreed. 

"When I catch 'em I'm gonna give 'em hell," Roadblock grimaced. 

"Come on everyone!" Footloose called out. "Let's all take turns at singing!"

"Let's not and say we did," Shipwreck snapped. 

"I knew I should have brought my rifle," Low Light grumbled. "Why didn't I bring my rifle?" 

"Okay Low Light you sing!" Footloose shouted cheerfully as he kept playing. 

"_Someone's gonna stuff a bunch of pinecones down Footloose's throat Lord, Kumbya!" _ Low Light sang. _"Someone's gonna stuff a bunch of poison ivy up his ass Lord Kumbya! If he doesn't stop with the stupid songs he's gonna die a slow and painful death Kumbya! Oh lord Kumbya!" _

"Okay that's enough with the singing," Footloose stopped strumming his guitar. "How about some campfire stories?" 

"Now you're talking!" Shipwreck said. "Let me tell you the tale of how I once saved the world from giant vegetables with my special sour cream sauce!"

"That was a team effort you dip," Alpine groaned.

"Giant vegetables?" Bobby asked. "You're kidding?" 

"Sounds corny to me," Todd grinned. 

"No it really did happen," Bazooka told him. 

"Get out of here," Forge said.

"He's right," Roadblock said. "It did. Damn things took over the entire city of Chicago before we stopped 'em."

"They did taste pretty good," Bazooka said. 

"Pull the other one!" Kurt snorted.

"It's true I tell ya!" Shipwreck said. "Just like the time I saved the world from a giant blob by feeding it a million apples!" 

"What?" Rogue asked.

"Forget the TV," Tabitha waved. "Althea your Dad cooks up much better plots." 

"That's not exactly what happened," Roadblock waved. 

"Yeah but I came up with the plan!" Shipwreck said. 

"Well that's sort of true," Bazooka scratched his head. "It was your idea to give the poison a candy coating."

"Back up," Kitty held up her hand. "Could somebody explain what you guys are talking about, please?" 

"Well long story short Cobra created this huge pink blob that was rampaging through the country," Footloose told them. "We tried everything but it turned out that all we did was make it split in half! So we like had two pink giant blobs destroying everything in its path! But then we realized that apple seeds had tiny amounts of poison in them. So we tricked the blobs into digesting a few orchards and…"

"Oh give me a break!" Bobby snapped. "That is the stupidest story I have ever heard!" 

"I got a story!" Bazooka piped up. "About the time I saw a sea serpent!"

"You really saw a real live sea serpent?" Jamie asked.

"Well actually it was a robot sea serpent," Bazooka told him. "You see Cobra forced this scientist to make it so they could rob the world's cargo ships. But it ended up eating Cobra Commander too." 

"I stand corrected," Bobby grumbled. "**That** is the stupidest story I have ever heard!" 

"Giant vegetables, rampaging blobs destroyed by apples, and now mechanical sea serpents?" Roberto shook his head. "Do you guys really expect us to believe all this?" 

"But it's true!" Bazooka said. 

"Yeah!" Althea told them. 

"Okay can we move on to real campfire stories?" Kitty asked. 

"Yeah let's have some scary ones!" Sam shouted. "Hey Low Light you gotta know some scary stories!"

"The stories I know will give you nightmares for the rest of your lives," Low Light gave an evil grin. The light from the campfire gave a menacing glow to his face. 

"Okay not **that **scary," Kitty gulped. 

"Yeah we're looking for fun here," Tabitha told him. 

"I got a story," Fred grinned. 

Ten minutes later…

"Slowly the boy opened the door to the barn…" Fred spoke slowly. "And then he saw the horror! The horror! The cows were staggering around the barn. The farmhands had gotten them wasted again! But to the boy's horror their horns were glistening with blood…blooooooodddd! It truly was the Night of the Cow! MOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

"Oh lord this is so lame!" Ray groaned. 

"I told you guys not to listen to any of Blob's farm stories!" Lance said. 

"I'm never gonna look at hamburgers the same way again," Bobby groaned. 

"That's it!" Shipwreck stood up. "I am going to find Logan and Jinx and drag them back here if I have too!"

"Yeah no way we are gonna suffer alone!" Cover Girl stood up.

"I want to come with you!" Ororo said. The three of them went off to find them. 

"Okay now who wants to tell another story?" Footloose asked. 

"Yeah preferably one that doesn't make us retch," Low Light grumbled.

"Low Light that ain't right!" Roadblock reprimanded. 

"I'll tell a story!" Footloose said enthusiastically. "I know a really happy one!" 

"You wanna take a walk?" Low Light asked Roadblock. "Maybe see if by some miracle a Cobra patrol is in the woods or something?"

"Please," Roadblock got up and followed him. 

"Oh thanks a lot guys," Alpine grumbled underneath his breath. "Maybe I'd better tell the story…about Headless Hook Hand Pete."

"Now we're talkin'," Bobby grinned. 

"Do you have to tell that story," Bazooka gulped.

"What? Don't tell me that story still scares you?" Alpine chuckled. 

"Nuh uh…" Bazooka defended. "But it might scare the kids!" 

"Only if we're lucky," Ray said.

Ten minutes later Alpine was well into the story. "And then…the scraping sound was heard again at the car door," Alpine spoke in a spooky voice. "They looked up and saw a coat…and a silver hook…**_but there wasn't a face in sight_**!" 

"AAAAGGGGHHH!" Bazooka shot up. "HEADLESS HOOK HAND PETE'S GONNA GET US! AGGGGGHHHH!" He ran in terror from the campfire. 

"Bazooka it was just a story dude!" Footloose shouted as he chased Bazooka. 

"We'd better go get him before he gets lost again," Alpine stood up and went after him as well. 

"Well this is a camping experience we'll never forget," Kurt grumbled. "No matter how hard we try." 

"Okay now that the adults are gone let me tell you about the story I heard about the hooker, the lost cheerleaders and the horny forest rangers," Pietro rubbed his hands together. 

"Pietro you are not telling that story!" Rogue snapped.

"Yeah for one thing you can't talk about stuff like that in front of Jamie!" Kitty fumed.

"Who do you think told me the story in the first place?" Pietro asked.

Everyone looked at Jamie. "Hey I spend a lot of time on the Internet okay?" Jamie looked at them. 

"I think a little too much time," Remy remarked. 

"You know for a little kid you're becoming quite the pervert aren't you?" Bobby snickered at Jamie. 

"Yeah well I may be shorter than all of you but at least I never wet my bed," Jamie glared at Bobby.

"I told you that some of my ice melted during the night," Bobby said coldly.

"Yeah right," Jamie snickered. "Just like Peter doesn't practice kissing Kitty with his pillow at night."

"I DO NOT!" Peter shouted. He looked very embarrassed. "I just happened to have a very vivid dream one night. That's all." 

"Roberto's even worse," Ray snickered. "I caught him practicing kissing with his hand. You know, making sure there was an opening in it so he could stick his tongue…"

"Okay way too much information here!" Kitty held up her hands.

"You jerk!" Roberto snapped. "I'd love to tell everyone what I caught you doing the other day, but I'm too much of a gentleman to say it around the girls!" 

"All right!" Pietro rubbed his hands. "Dirt! I love it!" 

"Well you'll love this," Fred said. "Remember the time Pietro tried to hypnotize us but ended getting hypnotized himself?"

"BLOB!" Pietro snapped. 

"Oh yeah!" Kitty snickered. "You guys gotta see that video! It's hilarious!" 

"There's a video?" Amara asked. 

"Oh we have quite a collection," Todd nodded. "You should see it. Well half of it is all the stupid stuff Lance did while trying to get Kitty to like him, but it's pretty funny. Not to mention pathetic." 

"This from a guy who once got beat up by a squirrel," Lance snickered. 

"He did not beat me up! I lost my balance and fell out of the tree!" Todd turned red. Everyone laughed. "Hey stop laughing at me! I was tired and hungry and we were on the run from the army! Remember?"

"What?" Xi blinked.

"When mutants got exposed on the media," Lance told him. "We told you about that."

"Oh yes," Xi nodded. "So you did." 

"Face it Toad, you got your butt whooped by a furry little rodent," Lance snickered. "How pathetic!" 

"Yeah well what was your excuse when that rabbit cleaned your clock?" Todd shot back. 

"SHUT UP!" Lance shouted.

"What?" Everyone asked.

"What's this about a rabbit?" Kitty asked. 

"Lance had this stupid idea of us trying to catch a bunny rabbit for dinner," Todd pointed at Lance. "He had us running around like a bunch of saps banging into each other. And when the rabbit got away he had a nervous breakdown! You guys remember that?"

"Toad!" Lance snapped. 

"Yeah he did a great 'Gone With the Wind' impersonation," Fred nodded. "He went totally bonkers. Had to dip him in the river to knock some sense into him." 

"You're kidding?" Bobby laughed.

"Nope," Fred shook his head. "He was also moping about Kitty!"

"Oh Kitty!" Todd wailed mockingly. "Kitty! My lost love Kitty! Kitty!" 

"SHUT UP!" Lance shouted. Everyone was laughing around the campfire. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME! IT'S NOT FUNNY!" 

"The hell it isn't!" Pietro snickered. 

"That's priceless!" Peter roared and slapped his thigh. 

"**You swore an oath!**" Lance roared. "You all promised me that you'd never mention the rabbit incident ever to another living soul! Not even to Quicksilver!"

"If you recall that was contingent on you never mentioning the squirrel incident!" Todd snapped. "So don't put the blame on me! You started it." 

"Yeah I almost forgot about all that," Fred chuckled. "You remember Wanda?" 

"How could I forget?" Wanda snapped. "You idiots all barged in on me while I was in the bushes! It's the second most embarrassing memory I have!" 

"The second?" Tabitha asked. "What was the first?" 

"I'll bet the first was when you found out that you were kissing Toad right?" Kurt asked.

"WHAT?" Everyone else shouted.

"You kissed Toad?" Rogue looked at Wanda. 

"Ewwwwwwwwww," Kitty flinched. 

"You kissed Wanda?" Althea looked at Todd. "When was this?" She glared at Kitty. "And what do you mean 'Ewwwwwwww'?" 

"Yeah it wasn't that bad!" Wanda snapped. Then she slapped her hand on her face. "Please someone tell me I didn't say that!" 

"WHAT?" Althea stood up rapidly. 

"Catfight! Catfight!" Bobby shouted excitedly.

"For Pete's sake Iceman grow up will ya?" Jamie groaned. 

"Okay!" Althea pointed at Todd. "Story! NOW!" 

"Oh this is gonna be good," Ray snickered. 

"Toad is gonna get it!" Pietro snickered.

"Shut up!" Todd snapped at Pietro. 

"Start talking Tolensky!" Althea shouted. 

"Now sweetie, please…" Todd gulped. "I can explain. It's kind of funny really."

"You got that right," Kurt said. "You used my image inducer to look like some blond ski instructor!"

"Oh well that explains it," Pietro waved. "I knew my sister had more sense than to kiss Toad." 

"You were posing as someone else in order to get a kiss from Wanda?" Althea asked.

"Well…yeah," Todd gulped. "You see I thought she'd like me better if she thought I was a handsome blond Swedish ski instructor." 

"I can't believe it," Althea said.

"Neither can I," Kurt shook his head. "Especially how he mangled that accent." 

"I thought I did a pretty good job," Todd said. "Considering I only had a few minutes." 

"A few minutes?" Tabitha looked at Wanda.

"Hey give me a break! My father had Mastermind screw around with my memories!" Wanda said. "I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to begin with."

"That sounds ideal for Toad to get a kiss in the first place," Kitty said. 

"This from a girl who's first kiss was from a guy she only knew for less than a week?" Rogue grunted.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Peter and Lance shouted.

"Rogue!" Kitty shouted.

"Who was it?" Lance asked. 

"Well it wasn't me that's for sure!" Peter shouted. "Who was it?" 

"I'll bet it was Kurt!" Todd piped up. "Am I right?"

"None of your business!" Kitty fumed. 

"Was it you?" Lance glared at Kurt. 

"No it was not me!" Kurt told him.

"Not for lack of trying," Tabitha snickered. 

"Well then who was it?" Peter asked.

"It was Jason," Rogue smirked. 

"Jason? I can't believe it! Your first kiss was from Jason?" Peter shouted. "Who's Jason?"

"I remember him!" Kurt said. "He was the lead in the school play you and Rogue did a while back! When you did Dracula!" 

"Way to go girlfriend!" Tabitha grinned. "He was cute!" 

"That nerd?" Lance looked at her. "You actually kissed that nerd?" 

"He wasn't a nerd!" Kitty snapped. 

"Yeah Lance I remember him," Todd nodded. "He wasn't a nerd. He was a player." 

"He was not a player!" Kitty fumed. 

"Oh please," Fred waved. "Even Duncan didn't have that many girls falling over him." 

"When did you kiss him anyway?" Kurt asked.

"Backstage after the play was over," Rogue told him.

"Rogue!" Kitty shouted. "That was like private!" 

"Kitty half the cast saw him kissing you! How private could it get?" Rogue asked. 

"How many boyfriends have you had Kitty?" Wanda asked. 

"That's it! I'm outta here!" Kitty stood up and walked away. 

"If this keeps up we won't have anyone left around the campfire," Xi remarked. 

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Fred took out a marshmallow and roasted it on the fire with a twig. " More marshmallows for me!" 

"Where is everybody anyway?" Lance asked.

"Mellow out Rocky," Tabitha said. "Its not like anything's gonna happen to us in the woods here." 

That's when Kitty screamed….

**Ooh! So what happens next? It's not what you think! But let's just say the adults are being a little naughty! Maybe it is what you think! Keep those suggestions coming! **


	4. In the Nude

**In the Nude**

Kitty was standing at the edge of the lake, screaming. "What's going on?" Kurt teleported there. He then saw. "Oh my…" 

"What?" Tabitha and the others ran over. "What's happening?"

"I don't believe this!" Bobby shouted.

"I do," Althea grumbled. There in the water were Logan, Jinx, Shipwreck, Ororo and Cover Girl. 

"What's the big deal?" Jamie asked. "They're just swimming."

"Swimming without bathing suits Jamie," Ray snickered. "There's a difference." 

"You mean they're…?" Jamie's jaw dropped. 

"Uh huh…" Roberto nodded.

"Well actually Ororo and I are still wearing our underwear," Cover Girl stood up. 

"Yeah but they ain't!" Tabitha pointed to the others.

"Uh I can explain…"Shipwreck gulped. 

"I'll bet," Lance snickered. 

"Oh god I need to wash out my eyes!" Rogue shouted, rubbing them.

"This is just plain sick," Todd shook his head. 

"And you guys are always lecturing us about **our **behavior?" Althea shouted. "I can't take my eyes off you for a minute can I, Pop?"

"Actually I wish you would," Shipwreck gulped. "At least until I get my pants back on." 

"Hey kids what's going on?" Roadblock asked as he and Low Light walked up to them. "Oh I see…"

"Great!" Low Light grumbled. "Thanks a lot for setting such a good example you guys!" 

"How did this happen in the first place?" Roadblock asked. "Logan you and Jinx I can figure out but you three? What possessed you to do this?"

"Well you see…" Shipwreck started.

"Forget it!" Roadblock held up his hand. "I don't wanna know! Just put your clothes on! Kids let's go!" 

"Boys will you stop drooling?" Rogue snapped. 

"Anybody see my pants?" Shipwreck looked around. 

"Oh god…" Kitty moaned.

"Tell me about it," Althea sighed. The kids made their way back to camp.

"Okay now where's Bazooka, Alpine and Footloose?" Low Light asked. 

"Well…" Fred began when a scream came from the woods. 

"NOOOOO! HEADLESS HOOK HAND PETE IS GONNA GET ME!" Bazooka screamed. 

"Oh lord," Low Light moaned as he put his head in his hands. "Please somebody tell me they brought alcohol on this trip?" 

"Sorry," Logan told him as he and Jinx emerged from the bushes fully clothed, but still wet. 

They followed the sound of the screaming where they saw Bazooka in a tree. Alpine and Footloose were at the bottom, trying to get him to come down. "Come on ya big Bazooka!" Alpine groaned. "There is no such thing as Headless Hook Hand Pete!" 

"You told that story to Bazooka again?" Roadblock groaned. "You know how that always freaks him out!" 

"Well the kids wanted it," Alpine said.

"Don't put the blame on us!" Jamie said. 

"Bazooka get down here ya weenie," Low Light ordered.

"I am not a weenie," Bazooka climbed down. "I'm not a…SKUNK!" 

"Where?" Shipwreck turned around. 

"There!" Bazooka pointed to an area. Roadblock pointed his flashlight on it. 

"It's just a bush!" Ray groaned.

"Yeah I really feel better knowing we're out here in the woods with such skilled professionals, don't you?" Tabitha groaned. 

"That is not a skunk!" Roadblock shouted. He then turned his flashlight on something. "That is a skunk!" 

They all did a double take. **_"SKUNK!"_** They all shouted and ran away. 

"Great it's the same one from before!" Cover Girl shouted.

"Before?" Roadblock asked. 

"That's why we were in the water in the first place!" Shipwreck told them. 

"I thought you smelled worse than usual," Logan remarked. 

"Wait a minute!" Bobby stopped running. "We're X-Men! Why are we running from a stupid skunk? I mean we faced Juggernaut and Magneto! What's the big deal? I'll just scare it and…" He turned around and made a snowball. "Hey come here Skunky!" 

"Iceman no!" Ray shouted.

"Don't do it kid!" Logan shouted. 

"AGGGHHHH!" Bobby screamed as he got sprayed.

"He did it didn't he?" Low Light sighed. 

"Yup," Logan put his hand to his head. "Yes he did."

"I'll get some tomato sauce," Roadblock sighed. 

"Ewww!" Kitty wrinkled her nose. "That stinks!" 

"Once again Iceman screws up!" Jamie grumbled. "And you guys never send me on missions because you think **I **can't handle it?" 

"You know all of the sudden sharing a tent with Toad doesn't seem so bad any more," Kurt said. 

"Don't remind us!" Ray groaned. 

**Coming up, some girl talk, more gossip, some serenades and other crazy stuff. How much fun can a person have annoying his tentmates? Stay tuned and keep those suggestions coming! **


	5. Another Peaceful Night Shot to Hell

**Another Peaceful Night Shot to Hell**

"Well this has been such a fun day," Kurt said sarcastically as he crawled into his sleeping bag. 

"Yeah and tomorrow we're all going on hikes," Lance sighed. "Yippee."

"Yeah!" Todd said excitedly. "I love nature hikes!" 

"Me too!" Jamie said excitedly. 

"It figures," Lance grumbled. "Well as long as they don't strap 69 pounds on our backs it shouldn't be too bad." 

"Aww that would have been fun," Todd pouted.

"Yeah fun!" Jamie squealed. 

"Did either of you sneak in any pixie sticks or something in your backpacks?" Lance asked. 

"Well duh," Jamie held up a huge batch of multicolored sticks. 

"I'm surprised you'd even ask a stupid question like that," Todd remarked showing them his own batch. 

"It's gonna be a long night," Kurt sighed. "Oh well if you can't beat 'em! Join 'em. Pass the pixie sticks Toad."

"Good idea," Lance nodded. "Spending the night with a hyper Toad and Multiple. Well it could be worse." 

"How?" Kurt asked.

************************************************************************

"Hey Mr.Rabbit do you know what time it is?" A penguin puppet waved. 

"Yes, Perky the Penguin I do!" A rabbit puppet waved. "Time to tell more ghost stories!"

"HOW OLD ARE YOU TWO?" Remy shouted at Pietro and Fred who were playing with the puppets. "WHY THE HELL ARE TWO TEENAGERS PLAYING WITH STUPID PUPPETS LIKE THREE YEAR OLDS?"

"To annoy you duh," Pietro smirked. 

"Yeah I thought that was pretty obvious," Fred remarked. "Right Perky?"

'Perky' replied. "You betcha!" 

"It's official," Remy groaned. "Gambit in Hell!" 

************************************************************************

"Guys please let me back in the tent!" Bobby begged.

"NO!" Roberto and Ray shouted at the same time.

"We'll let you back in when you stop smelling like a skunk!" Roberto said.

"For once I am in complete agreement with him," Ray said. 

"Come on guys," Bobby stuck his head in." 

"GET OUT!" They both shouted.

"All right! All right!" Bobby went out. "I can take a hint!" 

"No you can't!" Ray shouted.

Bobby grimaced then smirked as he got an evil idea. He used his powers to ice up the tent. "Hey!" Ray shouted.

"It's freezing in here!" Roberto snapped.

"That'll teach you to give me the cold shoulder," Bobby chuckled. "YEOWW!" He yelled as Ray zapped his butt with a small bolt.

"Let's get him," Roberto growled.

"Uh oh…" Bobby gulped and ran off with the other two boys not far behind.

************************************************************************

"No way!" Amara waved. "You really never did it with a guy?"

"No," Tabitha shook her head. "I don't know why people assume I have. Just because of the way I act or dress. But the furthest I've ever gotten was a little petting. That's all." 

"What about the time you flashed Peter in the pool?" Rogue asked.

"That doesn't count!" Tabitha told her. "I was trying to get back at Kitty when I thought she was trying to steal Ray at the time. Remember? Okay who wants to ask a question next?" 

"I have one. Why are you all in my tent?" Kitty groaned. All the girls were in the tent together. 

"It's my tent too and if they wanna talk let 'em," Rogue snapped. She heard yelling in the distance. "It ain't like we're gonna get any sleep tonight anyway. Not with the boys acting like idiots over there." 

"Yeah besides it's fun telling all this dish and stuff," Tabitha smiled. "This Total Truth game is cool. We used to play it at the Brotherhood House a lot." 

"What game?" Kitty muttered. "All you do is tell each other a lot of gossip!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Tabitha said.

"Okay have you ever kissed my brother?" Wanda asked. 

Tabitha looked thoughtful. "Only once, on a dare." 

"Speaking of kissing former Brotherhood members," Althea began.

"Uh oh…" Rogue gulped. "This isn't gonna be pretty." 

"I need to know," Althea looked at Wanda. "Did you ever love Todd?"

"Love is a strong word," Wanda rolled her eyes.

"Well what would you call it?"

"Uh…Tolerate probably," Wanda sighed. "Look Althea…I never had the type of feelings for him that he had for me. He had this insane fixation you know? He was constantly bugging me! He drove me crazy!"

"Yeah persistence is one of his better points I have to admit," Althea shook her head. "But you don't have any feelings for him at all?" 

"Well maybe I'm a little jealous of what you guys have, even if I'm not jealous of you and Toad as a couple," Wanda told her. "I guess he's not so bad but I'd rather have him as a friend than a boyfriend. You get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah," Althea waved. "I'm sorry. I know Todd loves me now but still I do get a little possessive at times. But only because I'm just so nuts about the guy ya know?"

"Not really," Amara sighed. "Hey I wonder if Toad still thinks about you Wanda?"

"Amara, Toad is a guy," Tabitha rolled her eyes. "What do you think?"

Nearly all the females shuddered. "Ewwwwwwwww!" They said at the same time.

Except for Althea. She looked thoughtful. "Actually I can see it. I mean if it's a threesome or something…"

"STOP!" Rogue held up her hand. 

"For the love of all that's holy Althea please don't put that image in my head!" Wanda groaned. 

"Too late!" Kitty groaned. "It's there! Get it out! Get it out!"

"It's official," Tabitha shook her head. "You and Toad are perfect for each other!" 

"Yeah nobody else is that disgusting," Kitty said.

"Don't be so sure," Rogue said. "Remember Mystique?"

"I stand corrected," Kitty said. 

_"Cara mia why? Must we say goodbye…" _They could hear someone singing down a ways. 

"What the?" Althea poked her head out. "Todd? What are you doing?" 

Todd looked around. "Oh there you are! I was wondering what tent you were in!" He hopped over to her and began to sing again. _"Each time we part, my heart wants to die!" _

"Oh my…" Althea turned red. 

"Oh great the Toad's croaking love songs!" Rogue groaned as Todd kept singing. 

"Oh baby!" Althea rushed into his arms. _"I'll be your love till the end of time!" _

The girls stared out of the tent in shock as both Althea and Todd not only sang to each other but also did the tango while doing so. Quickly they pulled back in and sat in shock as they sang and danced outside. "Okay, it's official," Rogue sighed. "They're both totally nuts!" 

"You know I used to think nothing was more annoying than Toad singing to me all the time!" Wanda groaned. "But now I know better!" 

"Great we're gonna be hearing the mating dance of the Bayville Toad all night!" Tabitha groaned. 

KABOOM!

"HEY! YOU BLEW UP MR. RABBIT!" Pietro could be heard shouting.

"THAT'S NOT ALL I'M GONNA BLOW UP!" Remy shouted. 

"WILL YOU GUYS CHILL OUT?" Bobby shouted.

"YOU ARE DEAD POPSICLE BREATH!" Ray shouted. "YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!" 

"REVENGE FOR PERKY THE PENGUIN!" Fred shouted. 

"BURN BABY BURN!" Roberto shouted.

"BRING IT ON!" Remy shouted.

"YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAA!" Jamie could be heard next. 

"On the other hand Toad does have a rather nice singing voice…" Tabitha said. 

"I thought Lance would be the one singing out there," Kitty looked out. "Oh he and Kurt are busy chasing Jamie clones around and…HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?" 

Peter, Sam and Forge were in the back of the tent looking very nervous. "Who us?" Forge tried to look innocent. 

"What's going on?" Tabitha stuck her head out. "How long were you idiots out there?" 

"Uh we can explain…" Peter gulped. 

"It's Xi's fault!" Forge pointed at nothing. "Xi?" He looked around. "Oh great! He did a disappearing act on us!" 

"You guys were spying on us?" Kitty shouted.

"Let's get 'em!" Wanda growled. 

"Uh oh," Forge gulped.

"Head for the hills!" Sam took off with the girls on their heels. 

"But it's Xi's fault!" Peter shouted. 

"Xi's fault my butt! You morons decided to do this on your own!" Tabitha shouted. 

"Peter you are so dead!" Kitty shouted. 

"When I get my hands on that lizard…" Forge growled. 

Meanwhile all the adults had converged in one tent. "So much for the two of us having some alone time tonight," Jinx muttered to Logan. 

Cover Girl winced as another explosion sounded. "Shouldn't one of us go out there to see what they're doing or something?" 

"Do we really have to go out there?" Bazooka whined. "Please don't send us out there!"

"THAT'S SO NOT FUNNY ICEMAN!" Althea shouted. "HAVE A BATH!" 

The sounds of rushing water roared outside the tent. Some water leaked in and then froze. "HA!" Bobby shouted. "YEOWWW!" 

"How'd you like them apples?" Amara shouted. 

"Jamie! Come back here!" Kurt shouted. "And here…and over here!" 

"Please Tabby! Don't hurt me!" Sam squealed. "YEOOOOWWW!" 

"Colossus how could you spy on us?" Kitty shouted. 

"HE DID WHAT?" Lance shouted. Then the ground started to shake.

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!" Ray shouted. 

"KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE TREMORS LANCE!" Rogue shouted. 

"YOU JERKS INTERRUPTED MY SERENADE!" Todd shouted. "THAT'S IT! TIME FOR SOME TOAD ACTION!" 

The sounds of more fighting and explosions could be heard. "If this keeps up there won't be a forest left," Alpine grumbled. 

"That's it!" Low Light moaned. "I can't take any more!" 

"There's only one way to save our sanity," Logan looked at him. "You know it and I know it." 

"It's not gonna be the right thing to do," Roadblock said. "But if we don't do it our sanity's through!" 

"You're not seriously thinking about what I think you're thinking about are you?" Ororo asked. "We can't just leave them alone in the woods!" 

"It's only for one night. They'll be all right," Roadblock said.

"Yeah it's not like we won't be able to find them if they get lost or nothin'," Shipwreck winced as another tremor rocked the ground. "Just follow the sound of explosions." 

"We still can't do it!" Ororo said.

"Yes we can!" Jinx said.

"No we…" Ororo was about to finish when she heard another explosion and some more screaming. "On the other hand…" 

**Next: The adults have had it so they decide to send the kids on an overnight hike! Will the kids get lost? **

Todd: Probably.

****

Will they stay together as one group?

Lance: Definitely not! 

****

Will the adults be responsible or end up getting sloshed? 

Pietro: What do **you** think? 

****

What tortures will befall the X-Men?

Wanda: Don't you mean X-Men and Misfits? 

Pietro: Shut up Wanda! 

****

Actually I have something planned for you guys! Ha ha! Get ready for a few guest stars and surprises! But send in those suggestions of what you would like to see happen to the X-Men and the adults. Please. I really need ideas here. I'm begging you. Send in those ideas! See the button? Just tell me! PLEASE! PLEASE TELL ME!

Todd: Oh man you're having another case of writer's block ain't ya? 

**Tell me about it, three cups of coffee and still nothing! So send in those ideas! **


	6. Take a Hike!

**Take a Hike!**

"You can't be serious," Rogue looked at the adults. "An overnight hike in the woods? Alone?" 

"Think of this as survival training," Footloose said.

"Yeah the only way **we'll **survive is if they leave," Logan whispered to Jinx. 

"You just wanna get rid of us so you can get sloshed," Althea looked at Shipwreck.

"We do not!" Shipwreck snapped. "We wanna get rid of you so we can have a decent night's sleep!"

"Oh yeah Shipwreck that's a lot better," Alpine rolled his eyes. 

"Look here's a map of the trail. We'll all meet you over here on the other side of the mountain." Roadblock showed them the direction. "There's a convenience store as well as a ranger station there." 

"Conveniently that's also where there's a bar," Althea pointed out. 

"Well at least we know you can read a map," Logan said sarcastically. 

"Why are we doing this?" Ray asked. "Camping out was your stupid idea!" 

"Five will get you ten Shipwreck will try getting the girls drunk so he can get some action," Pietro said.

"Well duh he told you that plan before we left," Lance said. 

"What was that?" Ororo and Cover Girl glared at him. 

"Okay time to go!" Shipwreck started shoving the kids down the trail. "Have a good hike! Don't kill each other and try not to burn down the forest huh? Goodbye! So Long! Have fun!" 

Half an hour later the mutants were trekking through the forest. "I hate this weekend," Bobby stumbled along. "I think I just walked through another batch of poison ivy!" 

"Yeah well I got a bazillion bug bites!" Ray grumbled scratching his arm.

"Me too!" Kurt grumbled. "And having fur doesn't help! Believe me!" 

"Hey I've got scratches from branches attacking me all over my legs but you don't hear me complaining!" Amara snapped.

"Actually you just did," Pietro remarked.

"Shut up!" Amara snapped. 

"I have a headache…" Lance muttered. 

"You always have a headache!" Pietro said. "Every time we all go out together you have a headache!"

"Yeah and you would think that someone with such a fast brain would have figured out **why **by now," Lance snapped at him. "Not exactly quick on the uptake are you?"

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" Pietro snapped. 

"It means you drive everyone nuts that's what he means!" Forge snapped. 

"For once I am in complete agreement with him," Peter grumbled. "I am getting a headache now!" 

"I'm hot," Jamie whined.

"So am I," Rogue grumbled. "I'm hot, sweaty, dirty…I HATE THIS!" 

"OW! I got another bug bite!" Ray grumbled. 

"Yeah well now I got another scratch on my leg!" Kitty snapped. "And I just stepped in a mud puddle! Eww! My hiking boots are ruined!" 

"I broke a nail," Tabitha looked at her hands. Everyone glared at her. "Hey do you have any idea how long it took me to get these nails perfect?" 

"I'm hungry," Fred whined.

"There's a news bulletin," Pietro grumbled. "Tell me again why we are not using our powers?" 

"Man against nature and all that crap," Rogue told him. "Okay so now which way do we go?"

"This way," Althea pointed.

"But that way leads away from the mountain," Kitty said.

"Bingo," Althea said. 

"Look this is the best way up the mountain," Roberto pointed. "We go this way." 

"Trust me guys you wanna go this way," Althea said. "I think there's a hotel over there someplace. We can check in for the night."

"Yeah why should we have to stay outside and starve to death?" Fred nodded. 

"And how are you gonna pay for it?" Kitty asked.

"Easy," Lance pulled out some cash. "We swiped the beer money from the adults." 

"I don't believe it!" Amara groaned. 

"Yeah," Tabitha said. "We should have thought of that." 

"Look at it this way," Pietro said. "We're making sure that the adults don't get drunk and are irresponsible. We're doing a good thing. We're making society a better safer place."

"Only the Misfits would think of stealing as making a contribution to society," Ray grumbled. 

"Have you ever seen a GI Joe drunk?" Todd asked. "It's not pretty." 

"Trust me," Althea waved. "We're doing the world a favor!" 

"Look you guys can't do this! It's wrong!" Kitty snapped. "It goes against the point of survival training!"

"You actually bought that line?" Todd asked.

"Since when did you become a Jean Grey clone?" Wanda asked.

"When she started stringing along two guys at the same time!" Pietro snickered. Kitty went to hit him, but he dodged her. "Still too slow Kit Kat!" 

"Hey they didn't say how we were to survive this hike," Althea pointed out.

"She's right," Xi nodded. 

"Come on Kitty let's ditch this," Lance asked.

"No we are not!" Peter snapped. 

"Peter's right," Kitty said. "You Misfits may not be up to the challenge but we X-Men are!"

"We are?" Bobby asked.

"Fine Kitty," Althea held up her hand. "You win. You X-Men can stay outside in the bug infested woods and freeze while we Misfits will have to suffer in comfort. Enjoy your victory. Come on team, let's go." 

"Fine! Go!" Kitty shouted as they left. "Who needs you anyway? Good riddance!"

"Uh Kitty…" Sam asked. "Don't they have the compass and map?" 

"Oh…Fudge," Kitty grumbled.

"Way to go fearless leader," Rogue muttered. 

************************************************************************

"How can we be lost?" Pietro asked an hour later. "We have the compass, a map and two ninjas in training…" 

"Three ninjas!" Todd piped up.

"Three ninjas in training," Pietro rolled his eyes. "Even though one of them is lousy at it."

"I'm better than you!" Todd snapped.

"Please," Pietro preened. "Just last session the Blind Master told me that my form was perfect and all I needed to work on was my shouting." 

"That's his way of saying you don't have any heart in what you're doing yo," Todd sniffed. "And if your form was so damn perfect how come I kicked your butt huh?" 

"You did not kick my butt we were practicing!" Pietro snapped.

"Oh yeah," Todd drawled. "You were practicing kissing the canvas that's what you were practicing! Right Avalanche? Yo, Avalanche?" 

"I am not gonna get into this argument again," Lance spoke through clenched teeth. "I am going to ignore you!"

"Well that's polite," Pietro snapped.

"Well I don't care if it hurts your feelings!" Lance whirled around and yelled at the ground behind him. "If you really want to help me then say something useful instead of insulting me! What? Take that back! No! No! I am not gonna get into this argument again!" 

"He ain't talking to us is he?" Todd asked Pietro.

"No he is not," Pietro sighed. "AL WE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE!" 

"What's wrong?" Althea asked. Then she saw Lance screaming at the ground. "Oh…" 

"He's arguing with his spirit animal again isn't he?" Wanda groaned.

"Well it does happen to sound and act like Pietro," Xi pointed out.

"You have a point," Wanda nodded. 

"I'm not listening!" Lance closed his eyes and stuck his fingers in his ears. "I'm not listening…la, la, la, la!" 

"Did you give Lance his medication?" Althea asked.

"I thought you did it?" Todd looked at her. 

"Oh great," Wanda groaned. "Here we go again!"

"Well at least we'll have some nice entertainment during this hike from hell," Pietro shrugged. 

"NO! STOP!" Lance winced. He dropped to his knees. His eyes widened as if he was seeing something. "All right…I'll listen…" 

"You don't think he's having another attack do you?" Xi asked with a worried look in his eye.

"I don't think so," Wanda said. "The ground isn't shaking." 

Lance knelt there with his eyes glazed as if he was in a trance. "Lance? Yo hoo!" Pietro waved his hand in front of his face. "Earth to Lance? Come in Avalanche!"

"I don't think he's listening," Todd said.

"Who does listen to Pietro?" Fred chuckled.

"Hey!" Pietro snapped. Then Lance got to his feet. "Hey Lance uh…can you hear me or anything?" 

"The Coyote says we should go this way…" Lance had a far off look in his eye. He started to stumble towards a certain direction. "There's a storm coming. Follow the Coyote…" 

"Okay why not?" Fred shrugged as they followed him. 

"We're already lost what have we got to lose?" Todd said.

"He can't be any worse than Pietro," Xi admitted. 

"Hey!" Pietro snapped.

Twenty minutes later they came upon what looked like a huge waterfall. "Cool! I'm gonna go for a swim!" Fred grinned. 

"Not so fast!" Althea pointed. "Take a look who's down there!" 

There relaxing in a red bikini was the Baroness. "Oh goody," Wanda grumbled softly. "There's a sight I would have loved to have gone without seeing." 

"So what do we do?" Fred asked. 

"Hey I got an idea," Todd went into the bushes and came out with a little frog. 

"Toad you can't control frogs, can you?" Althea questioned. 

"No but they do have a little habit of following me around," Todd grinned. Another frog hopped out of the bushes next to him. "See?" 

"I see it but I don't believe it…" Althea blinked. "But this does give me an idea." 

Meanwhile the Baroness lounged drinking some tropical drink when suddenly the water started to swirl around her. "What?" She looked around. "What's happening?"

She then heard a loud croaking sound. She looked up and saw a large wave loom over her. On top of the wave were at least a dozen frogs. She screamed as the wave crashed down around her. "AGGHH!" The Baroness screamed. "FROGS! AGGGGHHH!" 

She floundered in the water covered in frogs. "GET THEM OFF ME! AGGGHH!" She splashed out of the water and ran for her life. 

The Misfits laughed as they came out of the bushes. "That was priceless!" Wanda snickered. "Way to go Al!" 

"Thanks little guys!" Todd waved to the frogs. 

"What the hell was the Baroness doing here in the middle of nowhere?" Pietro scratched his head.

"Well she forgot her clothes," Xi held them up. "And her credit card." 

"We ain't in the middle of nowhere," Todd pointed. "Look." Not far away was a huge hotel. 

"Shall we?" Pietro grinned. 

"Let's go," Fred grinned. He took Lance by the hand. "Good job Lance!" 

"Can we go to the zoo now?" Lance asked in a very small voice.

"Uh soon Lance," Althea sighed. She whispered to Fred. "Watch him will ya?"

"No problem," Fred nodded. "Come on buddy let's go see some animals or something!" 

They entered the hotel and couldn't believe the opulence around them. Obviously it was a hotel for the extremely wealthy. "Wow!" Todd's eyes widened. "Look at this joint!" 

"Okay make a note guys," Althea said. "In the future we will always listen to the Coyote in Lance's head. Got it?" 

"No problem," Pietro grinned. "Hey guys, why don't we put the Baroness' card to good use, shall we?" 

"Now you're talking," Todd nodded. Then he noticed Lance staring into an aquarium looking very happy. "But uh…let's see if this place has a pharmacy first huh?"

"Toad this is one of those places where rich folks come," Althea said. "They got drugs in a vending machine over there."

"So they do," Todd noticed. "You think they have Lance's medication yo?"

"Well if they don't they gotta have something that's close enough for it," Pietro said. "Let's just pop a couple of pills in him and see what they do." 

"We are not going to do that!" Althea snapped. She went over to the concierge. "Excuse me sir, but our friend over there has…uh…lapsed on his medication. Do you know where we can find a doctor to look at him?"

The man looked at her in a disdainful way. "I am not sure that we are qualified…" Althea showed him the credit card. He looked at it and ran the credit through. His eyes widened. "Why of course young lady. No problem!" He rang a bell. "Pharmacist!" 

Immediately a young doctor walked up. "Hello everybody!" He smiled.

"Hi Doctor Nick!" Everyone in the lobby shouted happily. 

The Concierge smiled. "Your patient is over there."

"Hmm," Doctor Nick looked at Xi. "You seem to have a rather bad skin condition."

"Not him," Althea dragged Lance over. "Him!" 

"Oh," Doctor Nick looked at Lance. "What drugs was he using?"

"He's on something called Exono-phobico twenty something," Fred scratched his head.

"Exonophobocan 24? Oh yes we have plenty of that," Doctor Nick said. "Has he been hallucinating?"

"Mr. Bobo?" Lance blinked.

"Does that answer your question?" Pietro pointed. 

"Yes, well we'll give him some Quaaludes first, in order to calm him down. And then a nice relaxing massage will help." Doctor Nick nodded. 

"Are you sure?" Althea asked.

"Hey if I know anything it's drugs," Dr. Nick told her. He snapped his fingers. "Rickshaws!" Immediately several rickshaws pulled by brightly clad attendants appeared. "Come! To the Tranquility Room!" 

"Shall we?" Wanda asked. "I could do with a massage." 

"Why not?" Todd hopped in one with Althea and they all went on their merry way. 

************************************************************************

"I can't believe we're lost!" Kurt moaned. 

"Why can't you believe it?" Rogue said. "So far nothing's gone right on this stupid trip!" 

"Well at least the Misfits are just as miserable as we are," Kitty said. "Wherever they are."

"That's the one silver lining in this cloud filled weekend," Roberto groaned. 

"Speaking of clouds…" Rogue grumbled as the sky rumbled and it got darker. 

"Oh no…" Roberto grumbled. "Don't tell me it's gonna…" Then it started to rain.

"It is," Tabitha grumbled. "Way to go Kitty!"

"Yeah thanks to your stupid ethics we're stuck out here!" Bobby snapped.

"Oh shut up and keep walking!" Kitty snapped. 

**Next: What further miseries shall befall the X-Men? What fun will the Misfits have? What will happen when the adults realize that there's no money for beer? Keep sending me those suggestions. I'll use as many as I can! The more the better! **


	7. We're Lost, Deal With It!

**I'm back from my mini-vacation! Didya miss me? Kudos to you if you know the following song and who sings it. That means you are just a big music weirdo as I am! **

**We're Lost, Deal With It!**

"AGGGGGHHH!" Amara screamed as the kids made their way through the forest. "I hate lightning!" 

"I hope Storm isn't doing this because the Misfits stole the beer money!" Ray shouted. Lightning flashed again. "AAAAAAIIIIEEE! DON'T KILL US STORM! IT'S THE MISFITS' FAULT! DON'T KILL US!" 

"Ray get a grip!" Kurt snapped as he grabbed Ray by the shoulders and shook him. "It's not Storm okay?" 

"Yeah and your power is being able to generate electricity anyway!" Jamie snapped. "Hello! Lightning shouldn't be able to hurt you! I think…" 

"I'm willing to find out," Roberto growled. 

The lightning snapped again. "AGGGGHHH!" Everyone screamed.

"We have to find some shelter!" Remy shouted. "Before we all drown!" 

"Or get fried," Forge grumbled.

"I think I see a cave up ahead," Kurt pointed. "I'm going to check it out!" He teleported there. A few seconds later he came back. "There is a cave over there!" 

"Well what are we waiting for?" Rogue snapped. "An engraved invitation? Let's go!" 

They ran into the cave. "Well at least we finally found some shelter," Bobby sighed as they all put down their backpacks. 

"You know I'm mad at those Misfits," Forge grumbled. "They shouldn't have simply stolen the adults' beer money, they should have done something a lot worse!" 

"Thanks a lot Kitty!" Rogue snapped. "You just had to get all fired up with your principals didn't ya?" 

"Well excuse me!" Kitty snapped. "I didn't hear anyone else suggest anything!"

"Look now is not the time for us to be arguing," Kurt stepped between them. 

"Let 'em fight!" Tabitha snapped. "There's nothing else for us to do around here."

"Anybody got a match so we can start a fire?" Bobby asked.

"Uh hello?" Amara waved. "Remember my mutant power? Besides there's nothing around here we can set fire to! There's just rocks here!" 

"Well there's gotta be something besides rocks in here," Kitty remarked. "Look around and see if we can find anything."

"Are you giving orders again?" Rogue snapped. 

"Well what do **you **think we should do?" Kitty snapped. 

"I know what I'd **love** to do right now!" Rogue made a fist.

"Bring it on!" Kitty snapped at her. 

"Maybe we were better off in the storm," Kurt grumbled. 

"Okay anybody wanna make some bets here?" Bobby asked. 

"Yeah I'll bet three rocks to your four that we all decide to beat you up instead!" Rogue snapped at him. 

"Okay that's it!" Kurt snapped. "Look we're all cold, wet and lost."

"Not to mention hungry," Roberto growled. "I think the Misfits swiped our candy bars as well!" 

Jamie and Tabitha looked at each other. "Uh yeah…it must have been the Misfits," Jamie said very quickly. 

"Yeah the Misfits must have done it," Tabitha said. "But that's not important now."

"Hey do you have chocolate on your lip Tabitha?" Amara looked at her.

"Hey look what's over there?" Tabitha pointed behind her. 

"That's not gonna work Tabby," Amara folded her arms over her chest.

"No wait there really is something there! Is that a body bag?" Ray gulped. 

"No, it's a body…" Jamie grumbled. 

"A BODY!" They all shouted.

"Hey this guy's still alive," Rogue checked him over. "He's just dead drunk." 

"And look at what he's wearing!" Forge pointed to his shirt with the Cobra insignia on it. 

"Wait a minute…do you hear something?" Amara whispered. They went further into the cave and in a short while found themselves on a ridge overlooking a small campsite in the cave. There were about ten Cobra Troopers singing around a campfire with some kind of metal contraption off to the side. 

_"Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more! The Bloody Red Baron was rolling up the score! Eighty men died tried to end that spree of the Bloody Red Baron of Germany! Now Snoopy swore that he'd get that man! So he asked the Great Pumpkin for a new battle plan! So he challenged the German to a real dogfight. While the Baron was laughing he got him in his sight…" _The Cobra troopers sang. Clearly they had drank more than enough beer. 

"Okay all those in favor of blasting some drunk Cobras raise your hands," Rogue asked. Nearly everyone did so.

"Guys we can't…" Kitty protested. 

"Hey I am in a bad mood!" Bobby snapped. "I need to take it out on someone!" 

"Yeah why should we be the only ones to suffer?" Remy asked. 

"Besides they're bad guys," Tabitha said. "They gotta be up to something!" 

"CHARGE!" Ray shouted as he started blasting at the Cobras. 

The Cobras were taken completely by surprise. They were so drunk it didn't occur to them to grab their guns and fight back. Instead they ran around screaming. "SAVE THE BEER!" One shouted. "SAVE THE BEER!" 

"MY SMORES!" Another soldier screamed. 

One of Tabitha's time bombs landed near the metal contraption. "Uh oh," One hiccuped. "That's where the experimental rocket fuel is being stored. If it blows we all go…" 

**BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Everyone fled from the huge fireblast. Kurt teleported and grabbed the sleeping drunk Cobra soldier. The other Cobras escaped out a separate tunnel while the X-Men escaped out of the way they came. They all stood there and watched as flames flicked out of the cave, igniting onto some trees. 

"Great call Rogue," Kitty said sarcastically. 

"Shut up!" Rogue snapped. "Oh man it's still raining!" 

"Not to mention we just lost all our camping equipment," Amara grumbled. 

"Well at least we blew up a Cobra base," Bobby sighed. "Wherever this is." 

"Yeah and the rain will put out the forest fire we started," Tabitha grumbled as she was soaked in the rain. 

****

"YOU KIDS DID THIS?" They heard a shout. Behind them were two very large forest rangers. 

"Mutants," The larger of the two rangers glared at them. "It figures!" 

"Uh we can explain," Kitty gulped. 

"You can explain at the station!" One of them snapped. 

"Oh man," Bobby grumbled. "We just can't catch a break can we?" 

Next: What is happening with the Misfits? What will happen when the Cobra soldier realizes that he's in jail? 

Now I have a question: should I do a third fic torturing Xavier and Hank? Anyone interested in me doing that? Or should I go right to this other multi-chapter fic inspired by Todd Fan? It's your call people! Send in those ideas! 


	8. Living La Vida Loca

**And what are the Misfits doing while all this is going on? Tee hee…Watch and see! **

**Living La Vida Loca**

"Ramone!" Pietro snapped his fingers. "I need a refill on my pink lemonade!" 

"Of course sir," A very elegant butler poured some for him. Pietro was lounging on a recliner wearing a white spa robe. He was having a pedicure and a manicure as well. "Would you like more ice?"

"Please," Pietro grinned. He took a sip through a straw and then inspected his nails. "Why Sylvia! You do such divine work! And Estelle! My feet never looked this polished! You are so much better than my regular manicurist!" 

"Hey give me a break it was my first time!" Fred told him. He was getting a massage by a very buxom blonde. "Oh! That feels so good!" 

"So does this," Lance smiled as he relaxed in a hot tub. "Bubbles…bubbles…" 

"I like bubbles," Xi admitted. He was also getting a massage. "I should try that." 

"Are you sure you're okay yo?" Todd asked. He and Althea were having facials and wearing fluffy bathrobes. 

"Oh yeah," Lance grinned as he closed his eyes. "I feel like I'm floating on a cloud…floating…floating…That's a funny word. Floating. Flo-ooo-ting…" 

"You think the doc gave him too much medication?" Todd asked. 

"Don't worry he's happy," Pietro waved. 

"Yeah it ain't his fault Magneto messed him up so much that he needs to be on medication for the rest of his life," Fred pointed out. "Oooh! That feels so good!" 

"Hey guys how do I look?" Wanda strutted out in the Baroness' outfit. 

"You actually got that to fit you?" Althea asked. 

"Well it's a little snug on top but there's plenty of room in the hip area," Wanda remarked. "I'm gonna go for a swim in the pool." 

"Hey I think I'll join you," Althea nodded. "I've about had it with this thing anyway. Coming Toddles?"

"Maybe later Al," Todd sighed. He had long given up trying to get her to stop calling him that around the guys. 

Soon both girls were in their bathing suits swimming in a huge pool. Huge plants and flowers surrounded the pool. "Wow," Wanda floated in a red bikini. "This place is amazing." 

"Yeah these rich folks know how to live. They have birds in here too," Althea remarked. "Just like a real rainforest." She pointed to several little parakeets and a few red parrots flying around. 

"It's cool to see a normal parrot for once," Wanda looked as one parrot was sitting on a tree nearby. "Hi birdie. Hi there. What a pretty bird you are."

To this the parrot responded by flying over Wanda. The next thing she knew the bird had made off with her bikini top. "WHY YOU LITTLE…!" Wanda shouted as she covered herself up. 

"Gee I thought only Polly did that," Althea scratched her head.

"GIVE ME BACK MY TOP YOU UNDERSIZED CHICKEN!" Wanda shouted. 

"Why don't you just zap it?" Althea asked. 

"Hello my hands are kind of busy here!" Wanda snapped as she tried to cover herself. 

"For crying out loud Wanda we're the only two…" Althea began to say. 

"Hey Al! Here I come!" Todd hopped in the pool with a huge splash. He popped his head out. "What's going on? Why are you looking at…" He then noticed Wanda. "EEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!" 

"TOAD!" Wanda turned red with embarrassment. 

"Don't worry Wanda!" Althea said. "A true friend never lets her buddies suffer alone!" She whipped off her blue bikini top. "Okay Todd now that you have the chance whose are bigger? Hers or mine?" 

"Okay if I ever needed proof that Althea was Shipwreck's daughter this is it," Wanda groaned. "TOAD WILL YOU STOP DROOLING AND GET ME BACK MY TOP!" 

"Uh yeah okay," Todd gulped. He grabbed the top with his tongue from the parrot. 

"Oh great now I'm gonna have slime on it," Wanda groaned. 

"Uh…uh…" Todd turned around and tried to clean it off with the pool water. "Don't worry…I'll take care of it." 

"That's what I'm worried about," Wanda grumbled. "Althea please put your top on now! Not only are you distracting Toad but you're making him drool even more slime on it!"

"Party pooper," Althea stuck her tongue out. "Hey is that a quarter on the bottom?" She dove down under the water. 

"Uh sorry about that," Todd gulped keeping his eyes closed as he handed her the top. 

Just then Pietro walked in on the scene. He did a double take as he saw Wanda trying to cover herself and Todd holding her top. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SISTER?" Pietro shouted. 

"It's a funny story really," Althea popped out of the pool. "You see…" 

"Never mind!" Pietro did an about face. "I don't wanna know." 

"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Both Todd and Wanda shouted. 

"I SAID I DON'T WANNA KNOW!" Pietro screamed. 

"Know what?" Lance walked in with Fred and Xi. "Oh god…" 

"This is so humiliating!" Wanda sank lower in the water. "GET OUT!"

"Yeah this is a private party," Althea grumbled finally covering herself. "Only Todd's allowed to see these!" 

"You've turned into a real horny toad haven't you?" Fred snickered. 

"Very funny!" Todd snapped. 

"So everyone's swimming naked?" Xi asked.

"Not exactly," Wanda grumbled. "NOW ALL OF YOU MORONS GET OUT OF HERE SO I CAN PUT MY TOP ON?" 

The next thing Todd knew he was raised out of the water and crashed into the other boys. They flew backwards out the door and landed in a pile. "Ow…" Todd grumbled. 

"Well that was pointless," Fred grumbled.

"I'm starting to miss the coyote," Lance muttered. 

A few hours later the gang had all gotten dressed again. Of course they had used the Baroness' credit card to purchase designer outfits. They were also wolfing down all the food they could stuff in their mouths in a huge room. "This stuff is great!" Todd gulped on some sushi. 

"So that's what caviar tastes like," Fred licked his lips. "Salty."

"Pass the lobster will ya?" Pietro asked. 

"I love this room!" Althea said.

"Forget it Al you ain't sharing with us," Lance told her. 

"Nuts," Althea shrugged.

"Hey check out the TV," Fred turned it on. "Hey look who's on TV!"

There were three people on a stage. An announcer and two familiar figures. "Greetings this is Steven Allbright of the Allbright Hour. Tonight's topic the Mutant Registration Act. On my right is Senator Edward Kelly, supporter and one of the main writers of the bill. On my left is Dr. Hank McCoy of the Xavier Institute and a member of the X-Men. Gentlemen, welcome." 

"Greetings," Hank nodded. "And a hearty 'sieg heil' to our own Senator Kelly."

"Poke fun all you like Mr. McCoy!" Senator Kelly snapped. 

"Thank you, I will," Hank smirked. 

"This is what I mean!" Kelly snapped. "You can't talk to these mutants about anything!" 

"How can we? You never let us get a word in edgewise!" Hank snapped. "With that big mouth of yours always flapping." 

"Gentlemen please," Steve motioned. "With all respect Senator, you must admit that the Mutant Registration Act does have some disturbing parallels to similar laws passed in other countries such as Germany during WWII and South Africa during the Apartheid era. Not to mention the Jim Crow laws in the South. How do you respond to these accusations?" 

"Steven this act is written to protect the American people from potential mutant threats," Kelly began.

"Hello! Mutants are people too you know?" Hank snapped. "Over eighty five percent of mutants in the world are under the age of 21. What you are proposing is nothing more than the cowardly persecution of children whose only crime is to be born different. How can you justify that?"

"I am talking about preservation, not persecution!" Kelly snapped. "I am…" 

"A racist?" Hank finished. "A narrow minded bigot who can't get past his own personal traumas to see how other innocent people are affected by his own political obsessions for power and control?" 

"Personal traumas as in how you and your pack of ill bred, ill mannered freaks nearly killed me several times?" Kelly snapped. 

"We also saved your life several times," Hank pointed out. 

"From disasters which they created in the first place!" Kelly shouted. "How about the time you nearly eviscerated me in the hallways?" 

"Oh god how many times do I have to say that I am sorry for that incident?" Hank threw up his hands.

"Yeah he's sorry he didn't off Kelly when he had the chance," Pietro huffed. 

"He ain't the only one," Lance growled. 

"You attacked Senator Kelly?" Steven asked.

"Well I wasn't a senator then, I was a principal of Bayville High," Kelly grunted. "And he was the science and gym teacher! He looked normal when I hired him but then boom! He went ballistic and blue!" 

"Ironically I was trying to work on a serum to control my mutation at the time," Hank said. "It didn't exactly work as well as I had planned."

"NO KIDDING!" Kelly shouted. "Do you have any idea how much it cost to get the claw marks sanded out of the walls?" 

"Oh don't worry Steve I'm much better now," Hank told the host. "I'd much prefer to attack with my razor sharp wit than my cutting nails. And speaking of cutting Senator you should really get a better haircut. That comb over is just so not you. I hear the Hair Club for Men have done some wondrous breakthroughs." 

"Insult me all you like…" Kelly began.

"Glad to!" Hank said. "Where did you get that hideous tie? It's awful! It looks like it was put in a blender with a canary. And those shoes, so last season!" 

"Do you see what I'm up against here?" Kelly shouted as he stood up. "These mutants are out of control!"

"We're out of control?" Hank stood up. "What about you senators? Refresh my memory Kelly, how much of a raise did you give yourselves this week?" 

"I've had it!" Kelly snapped. "It's pointless to continue this debate! You Mr. McCoy can expect a call from my lawyer!" 

"And you Senator can kiss my furry blue…" Hank turned around and unbuckled his trousers. 

"OH MY GOD!" Wanda squealed as Hank mooned Senator Kelly. "HE DIDN'T!" 

"He did!" Althea whooped. 

"WAY TO GO BEAST!" Pietro whooped. 

"I always liked that guy," Lance grinned. 

"So much for Mutant-Human relations," Althea snickered as they went to a shot of a very disturbed Xavier. "I don't think that went quite the way Xavier planned it." 

"I dunno," Todd laughed. "I thought it was a very engaging debate." 

"Yeah very topical," Fred guffawed. 

"For a copy of tonight's episode…" The announcer spoke. "Have your credit card handy and call 555-YAKYAK."

"Al…" Lance started to say.

"I'm already on it," Althea was on the phone. "How many copies do you think we should get?"

"At least fifty," Pietro grinned. "They'll make great Holiday gifts!" 

**Oh boy….So what's going on back at the Ranger station? And where are the adults and what are they doing? Well….**


	9. Party at the Ranger Station

**Party at the Ranger Station**

"I knew I should have turned on my image inducer during this trip," Kurt grumbled as the kids walked into the ranger station. "But noooooooo! You had to insist that I wean myself off it!" 

"Kurt will you stop complaining already?" Kitty snapped. 

"We would have recognized you kids without it," The tall ranger said. "What with you being on the news and all."

"What?" Rogue asked. 

"Didn't you know?" The other ranger asked. "Inside Entertainment Extra did an expose on you kids a few weeks ago. They've been running stuff on you and your professor all week! Not to mention the tabloids." He picked up one off his desk.

"Holy…" Sam dropped. "Wild battle at Xavier Mansion! Mutants at play! These guys took pictures of us!"

"What about our security cameras and stuff?" Amara asked. 

"Oh those photographers know lots of ways around it," The tall ranger said. "Look this was taken with a long range camera."

"Oh man that was the night Colossus decided to dress up like Elvis and serenade Kitty!" Kurt gulped. 

"This is awful!" Kitty groaned. "I look so fat in this!"

"You?" Rogue asked. "Look at me! I look like a hippo!" 

"I look like an idiot," Peter grumbled.

"Well that we knew," Bobby said. 

"Gambit told you not to dress up like Elvis!" Remy snapped. 

"My Aunt Shirley gets this magazine!" Sam groaned. "I am so busted!" 

"So are there any adults supervising you kids at all or are you all running around wild?" The tall ranger asked. 

"We weren't running wild," Kitty protested. "We kind of got separated from the adults. Oh they are gonna kill us!" 

"Uh guys…" Bobby pointed to the nearby cells. "I don't think that's gonna be a problem." 

Inside the cells were Roadblock, Ororo, Cover Girl, Low Light, Alpine, Bazooka, and Footloose. "Well I see you found our kids," Alpine grumbled.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Kitty yelled. 

"Shipwreck started a bar fight when he couldn't get any beer," Low Light grumbled. "We all ended up kind of tagging along with him." 

"Speaking of which where is he?" The second ranger asked. "And where's the other ranger on duty?" 

Roadblock pointed his thumb at a nearby door. "In there but don't go in…" 

The ranger ignored him and opened the bathroom door. Inside was Shipwreck and a blonde woman. Both were slightly disheveled and locked in a passionate embrace. "RANGER ALLENBY!" The tall ranger shouted.

"Ah keep your britches on Ranger Smith," The female ranger waved drunkenly. 

"Ranger Allenby what happened?" Smith yelled. "You never drink let alone…HOW DID HE DO THIS?"

"Don't ask," Cover Girl told him. 

"He has a gift for getting people drunk," Footloose shrugged. 

"Speaking of drunks," The second ranger dragged the Cobra Soldier into the cell with Footloose and Roadblock. "What about them? These cells were only supposed to hold maximum of eight people." 

"Look if we really wanted to leave we would have done so," Kitty told him. She phased her hand through the desk. "See?" 

"What do we do?" The second ranger asked.

"I'm gonna call the Chief," Smith grumbled. "ALLENBY KNOCK IT OFF!" 

"Yeah right!" She snapped. 

"I see it but I don't believe it," Remy shook his head. "Shipwreck finally got lucky." 

"Not really," Smith sighed. "Before she joined the rangers Ranger Sheila Allenby used to be known as Sherman Allenby." 

"WHAT?" Shipwreck stopped and sputtered. 

"So I had a little operation," Allenby hiccuped.

"Oh god…" Shipwreck moaned, then he fainted. 

"You just had to open your big mouth didn't ya?" Allenby slurred. 

"Aren't we entitled to a phone call?" Ororo asked. 

"Hold on a minute. Look Ralph just watch the kids okay?" Smith told the second ranger. "And her…" He went off muttering something about his life being nothing but one big freak show. 

"I said it before and I'll say it again," Rogue leaned against the wall. "I didn't wanna go camping." 

"Hey where is Mr. Logan and Jinx?" Kitty asked.

"They took off not long after you left!" Low Light snapped. "We went out looking for them. Shipwreck found a bar but somehow lost his money. You can guess the rest." 

"Well actually we know what happened to his cash," Ray told him. "The Misfits took it." 

"Why am I not shocked?" Low Light sighed. 

"What happened?" Shipwreck woke up. He saw Allenby. "Eeep!" 

"Hello loverboy!" Allenby waved. 

"I think now is a good time for one of us to make a phone call!" Shipwreck gulped. 

"Here," Ralph held up a cell phone. "Use mine." 

"I'll make a call," Bazooka took it and punched in the number. "Hello Dominos?" 

"Bazooka!" Cover Girl yelled.

"What? I'm hungry!" Bazooka defended. "Yeah I'd like a few pizzas. Two cheese, two pepperoni…" 

"I want sausage!" Jamie piped up.

"One sausage…" Bazooka said. 

"You might as well get some veggie pizza while we're at it," Kitty suggested.

"Two veggies…" Bazooka said.

"I could go for a Hawaiian," Ralph shrugged. 

"Why not?" Bazooka said. "Yeah two Hawaiian…anybody want any other kinds of pizza?" 

"Hey where am I?" The Cobra soldier woke up and looked around. 

"You want any pizza?" Footloose asked.

"Oh yeah…whatever…" The Cobra was still drunk. "I could go for a hamburger pizza with onions." 

"One hamburger with onions!" Bazooka said. "Yeah and do you deliver? What's the address?"

"Tell 'em it's for the ranger station, they know the way," Ralph waved. 

"Hey hot stuff," The Cobra soldier looked at Allenby. "You're cute!" 

"She's all yours," Shipwreck staggered away. 

"Why not?" Allenby shrugged. "You wanna dance?" 

"Cool," The Cobra soldier nodded as she took him out of the cell.

"Uh excuse me but aren't there any rules about stuff like this?" Amara asked.

"Oh yeah like we never break 'em all the time around here," Allenby waved. 

"Yeah we're stuck here," Shipwreck waved. "Might as well have a party." 

"Is he serious?" Bobby asked. 

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up drinking," Ralph shrugged as he took out a beer from the fridge. "Anybody want any booze?"

"Thank god I thought you would never ask!" Shipwreck took one from Ralph. 

"This is not happening," Ororo put her head in her hands. 

"YIPPEEE!" The Drunken Cobra shouted. 

Thirty minutes later…

"NOW WHAT'S GOING ON?" Smith barged in. Everyone was out of the cells. The Cobra officer and Ranger Allenby were dancing to music. The kids were chowing down on pizza. Some of the Joes were dancing as well. 

"It's a party!" The Cobra soldier shouted. "And I got a girl!" 

"You're back on the sauce again aren't you?" Ranger Smith snapped at Ralph. 

"Bingo!" Ralph grinned wearing a lampshade. 

"Is there any adult here who's sober?" Ranger Smith groaned.

Ororo raised her hand. "I'm afraid I'm the only one." 

"Maybe you'd better make your phone call," Ranger Smith handed her the phone. 

"Uh…Charles," Ororo gulped after she dialed the number. "We…have a problem…" 

"I'll say! We're out of booze!" 

"SHUT UP SHIPWRECK!" Ororo shouted. 

**Coming up! The conclusion! But it's not the end! ^-^**


	10. Another Fun Weekend Comes to an End

**Before I conclude I want to say thank you to all my reviewers! You guys have great ideas! Don't worry if not everything is in this fic, because the odds are good that you might find it in another fic! I will definitely do one sometime in the future with the Coyote and the McGuffin Device! And Bazooka and Multiple with a sea serpent? Hmmmmm. Definitely. But for now you'll just have to put up with this nonsense! **

Lance: Why do you people encourage her?

Coyote: Hey these folks have good taste! They know talent when they see it! 

Lance: I need more medication…

**Another Fun Weekend Comes to An End**

"I can't believe that all of you ended up in jail!" Xavier fumed as they left the ranger station the next morning.

"Well technically it wasn't jail," Shipwreck told him. "And we weren't behind bars for very long. There was no room for the dance contest in the cells." 

"You trash every place you go don't you sailor?" Logan chuckled. 

"And where were you and Jinx during all this Logan?" Xavier glared at him.

"Uh…" Logan blushed.

"What you guys did was awful!" Jinx turned around. "Hey wait a minute. Where are the Misfits?"

"We split up an hour after we left the camp," Kitty said. 

"Well there's a first," Shipwreck scratched his head. "Our kids not spending the night in jail. Who'd have thunk it?" 

"Great now we gotta go all over the mountain looking for those losers!" Ray groaned.

"Well maybe not we did tell them to meet us on the other side of the mountain," Cover Girl mentioned. "Maybe they're just getting down?"

"Our kids?" Low Light said. "No they're lost." 

Then a limo pulled up. Out came the Misfits in their new outfits. "Thanks driver!" Pietro waved. 

"WHAT THE HELL?" Rogue shouted. 

"Oh hi guys!" Todd waved. "Man, sorry we're late but we kind of overslept! Those waterbeds are so comfortable!" 

"Water beds?" Kurt asked.

"Well we did have a huge dinner," Fred said. "I can still taste that lobster!"

"Lobster?" Tabitha started to twitch. 

"I tell you spending the night at the spa was the best thing that could have happened to us," Pietro grinned. 

"You guys were…WHERE?" Logan growled. 

"Oh right moral indignation from a guy who took off to shag his girlfriend," Shipwreck waved. 

"What spa?" Rogue growled.

"We'll there's this spa over a ways we found," Pietro remarked. "Funny story. We ran into the Baroness and swiped her credit card to pay for everything. Good thing we got there before the storm hit. Otherwise we would have gotten soaked. Not to mention not getting our massages and nails done." 

"Let me get this straight…" Kitty's left eyebrow twitched. "While we were lost in the woods…getting soaked in the rain…shot at by Cobra soldiers…and ended up getting arrested and spending the night in the ranger station with a group of drunken adults…**_YOU GUYS WERE LIVING IT UP IN A SPA?_**" 

"It wasn't that bad," Jamie said cheerfully. "At least we got pizza." 

"Oh shut up!" All the other X-Men shouted at him. 

"Say something!" Ororo shouted at Shipwreck.

"Well," Shipwreck shrugged. "At least you kids weren't stupid enough to get caught like we did." 

"WHAT?" The X-Men shouted.

"That was definitely not the right thing to say," Roadblock gulped as the Joes backed away from the angry X-Men. "Perhaps it's time now to make our getaway!" 

"Guys any of you bring your teleportation watches?" Pietro gulped. "Guys…?" He turned around. They had already teleported away. "Oh thanks a lot!" He ran off. 

"X-Men take a note," Ororo growled. "Next time we see the Misfits or the Joes…we kill them." 

"Fine by me," Rogue said. "But now what do we do?" 

"We are all going to go home and try to forget this weekend ever existed," Xavier rubbed his temple. "Although thanks to you Mr. McCoy I don't see that happening for quite some time! In fact! You may have set back the Mutant Rights Movement for at least a few decades!" 

"Don't start with me!" Hank snapped. "You weren't exactly Mr. Perfect this weekend yourself! For one thing you are a lousy roommate!" 

"Well at least I don't snore!" Xavier snapped. "And…What's that smell?" 

Everyone looked at Bobby. "He still smells like a skunk," Ray said.

"Maybe we should tie him to the roof of the van," Logan muttered. 

"You can't do that!" Bobby yelled.

"Yes we can!" Amara said.

"I got a better idea," Logan grinned. "All those in favor of Iceman going home with Hank and Charles in the jet while the rest of us take the vans back raise their hands!" 

Nearly everyone did. "Oh goody," Hank rolled his eyes. "The perfect end to a perfect weekend." 

"Oh cry me a river Hank!" Logan snapped. "Your weekend couldn't have been that bad!"

"Wanna bet?" Xavier sighed. 

**Up now if you haven't read it already, part 3 of the trilogy! 'Adventures in Washington D.C.' coming soon to FF Net…provided it doesn't break down again! Let the Xavier torture commence! **

Xavier: It's official, you are the cruelest writer to me on this fandom! 

Kelly: What are you complaining about? She's not exactly Miss Sweetheart to me either! 

Xavier: Yeah but you deserve it.

Kelly: And you don't? Please! 

Xavier: You want to make something out of this?

Kelly: Oh like I'm so scared of you mutie! Bring it on! 

Xavier: And what are you gonna do Senator? Whine me to death? 

Kelly: Your powers don't frighten me!

Xavier: I don't need my powers to take out a wimp like you! 

Kelly: Oh yeah?

Xavier: Yeah! 

Kelly: Try it! 

Xavier: I will! 

**Due to circumstances beyond my control, my imagination has run amok again. Actually blame the show for not finishing up the season on us. Not seeing new episodes has twisted my already fragile mind. **

Kelly: YEOW! YOU RAN OVER MY FOOT WITH YOUR STUPID WHEELCHAIR! 

Xavier: Ha Ha! 

**Anybody got a spare mallet? Mine's broken from over use. **


End file.
